a penny for your thoughts

People keep asking me, "What do you think of Thailand?" and "Do you like it there?" and for a while, I wasn't too sure what to say. Most of it definitely attributed to culture shock. The other part? It probably came from me worrying about liking it here too much.

For some reason, I've been holding back, deep down, ever so slightly. A sliver of myself didn't want to become overly attached to Thailand for fear that it would be too hard to leave. It finally dawned on me that this was occurring and I've decided it's stupid. It's stupid for me to hold back, in any way, at any stage during my life. Especially now. Did I know I should be absorbing every second of my life back in the states? Of course. Did it take moving half way around the world to fully realize that I'm not taking full advantage of all the opportunities presented to me? Guess so. Anyone else guilty of this? I feel we all are. But admitting it to myself, and writing it out to the world, seems to be the best thing I can do.

So to answer the question as to whether or not I like it here, my answer would have to be that I realized, I love it here. What's not to love about this place? The food is delicious. Always. And the ample supplies of fresh fruit is like a dream come true. The Thai people are the nicest group of people I have ever met. They want nothing more than to make us teachers comfortable here. My school is so nice and the fellow teachers, even nicer. I get my own desk in an air conditioned office with an endless supply of coffee and friendly faces. My students have challenged me in more ways than I could have imagined in just a short period of time. Who knew teaching could be so hard? But, also so rewarding.

My living situation? Couldn't be much better. (Minus the lack of pool, but there's a way around that) The people at the front desk are always asking where I'm going and pointing me in the direction of the nearest, and best, food.

The lack of pool problem? Easily fixed by a quick 20 minute walk to the hotel down the road. Oh, and did I mention how nice that pool is? On the way to the pool, I get the chance to walk through one of the largest Indochina Markets and peruse for cheap findings, as well as stop for some fresh fruit, grilled plantain bananas, or pretty much any Thai food imaginable. Even though it's a small area, it seems like there's usually something to do in the evenings. The latest find? Salsa dancing lessons on the roof of the apartment building down the street. Best part? It's the cheapest salsa lessons I will ever find in my life.

Did I also mention there's a really nice park where I can go for a run free from stray dogs and creepers? Running at a park in America at night? Not gonna happen. Running at the park in Thailand at night? Totally safe. Even though I haven't been able to find a proper gym, I have found a really pretty park where I can workout with a bunch of Thai people. The view is definitely much nicer than Gold's Gym.

Being here has been one of the best experiences of my life. I've met some amazing people, seen some things I never would have ever imagined, and been able to immerse myself into a culture 180 degrees different from what I'm used to. And that's pretty cool.

So, what did I do with my time tonight? I spend it looking inward, something I don't do enough of. I found that holding back, even if it is in the slightest sense, is one of the silliest things I could possibly do. Easy fix to the problem: vow to myself that I'm going to change my attitude and do my best to love and absorb every second of every minute of the time I have. And to enjoy all the little things.